Giving and Receiving: The Fine Print No One Told You About

Much has been written about the universal law of giving and receiving, but I have discovered in my dealings with others that there is often a great deal of misunderstanding about how to apply the principle.

The general notion is that the more you give, the more you get. As you sow, so shall you reap. That's all well and good, but I believe the misunderstanding of this wonderful secret could be easily cleared up with a simple corollary to the law of giving. The corollary is that it's not what you do but why you do it. Intention and motivation are everything.

What this means is that you should only give if you are giving for the pure joy of giving. If you give because you expect to get, you are defeating the purpose. The universe is not so easily fooled.

Giving with the motive of getting is actually an affirmation of lack. Saying that you have to get because you have just given is saying to the world "I don't have enough." Your belief will soon be proven correct. The energy vibration of lack will only attract more lack.

Again, as you sow, so shall you reap.

Many people I know give grudgingly or feel deprived after they have made a gift of time or money. If you give out of a feeling of obligation or a sense of sacrifice, the underlying feeling is one of lack. Dressing up a feeling of lack under of mask of generosity will only lead to disappointment. It's not what you do but why you do it.

Don't waste your time by giving with the expectation of getting a return on your investment. God is not a share of stock that you trade on the NASDAQ (ticker symbol GODD). "If I give, I'd better get something back or else." Such thinking originates from a position of "there's not enough."

While some people give with ulterior motives, there are others of us who rarely give at all because of the belief, "I can't afford it." Henry Ford often said that there are two kinds of people - Those that think they can and those that think they can't; and they're both right. Your beliefs create your experience every time.

So much for the ways NOT to give. What to do instead?

My personal experience suggests waiting until you are in flow with life. We all have mood swings. Sometimes we feel good, and sometimes we feel bad. When you happen to catch yourself feeling good, seize that opportunity to give out of a sense of sharing the abundance that is already yours.

By being grateful for whatever you currently have, it is much easier to pass some of your good fortune onto someone else. In those moments, you get the sense that there is more where that came from.

My first experience with true giving, at least in recent memory, occurred during a relapse of cancer several years ago. Once I got over the initial shock of the diagnosis, spiritual aspects within me started to awaken and I began to count my blessings.

After several months of chemotherapy, I had the opportunity to visit New York City during the Christmas holiday season. My doctor had decided to give me a few weeks off from chemotherapy to enjoy the holidays, and a mini-vacation was just what I needed. The Christmas lights in NYC, the crisp winter air, and the fact that I was still alive put me in good spirits. I was feeling abundant and grateful.

One evening on the way to dinner with my wife and my brother, a homeless man outside the restaurant we had selected asked me if I could spare a dollar. I was feeling great, and I gave him $20 instead. This in turn made him feel great, and it made me feel even better that I had made his day. The important subtlety for me was that I had waited for my wife and my brother to go inside the restaurant before I gave him the money. I wanted the act to be anonymous, and I didn't want anyone questioning the wisdom of giving away a $20 bill while I was on medical leave with a very limited income. If I had to defend or justify my actions to anyone else, it would have taken away the joy and spontaneity of the moment.

At that point, I did not know what the future had in store for me, but in that instant things were perfect. I was feeling good, and I didn't want anyone else to ruin the feeling of that moment by telling me to be sensible. Waiting until no one was looking to give this man some money seemed like the best means to that end.

It was a win-win situation. The guy felt great, and I continued to feel great the rest of the evening. It was my secret. I was feeling prosperous for no apparent reason, and I made someone else feel prosperous by giving him 20 times more than he had asked for or expected. I happened to be in the flow of life in that moment, and it was a perfect time to give.

Over the next few months, my supposedly "fixed" disability payments somehow increased by 20%. I don't know how or why, and I certainly didn't ask.

I did not know about the law of giving and receiving at that time in my life. I was just acting on pure impulse. It was only after I began my spiritual studies that I came across this principle. With my new understanding and the benefit of hindsight, I began to see the connection.

The most important aspect of this principle to me, and it bears repeating, is to remember that it is not what you do but why you do it. If you are having a bad day, or you are in a negative frame of mind, don't give just because you think you are supposed to. There is no extra credit for God, and it won't benefit you or the other person under those conditions.

Instead, wait until you are having a particularly good day and are feeling great. Then give while you are in that state, and observe what happens. If you find yourself doing mathematical calculations to decide how much you can afford to give or worry over what others think is sensible, don't bother. You've lost the feeling.

Wait until you're back in the flow and just choose an amount based on your first impulse. Go with whatever amount makes you feel good and that won't cause you to feel poorer because there is that much less in your wallet or bank account.

This universal law may take only a moment to understand, but it can take a lifetime to master. But just because you haven't mastered it does not mean that you can't have fun practicing. Give it a try, and let your own experience be the judge.

John Zappa is a publicity consultant in Austin, Texas. As a refugee from Corporate America, he now chooses to invent his own work.

布施与回报——没人告诉过你的细节

作者： John Zappa

关于“布施与回报”的宇宙法则，各种文章讨论已经够多的了。但是，在我和很多人交往的过程中，我发现在如何实施这些法则的细节上经常有不少的误解。

一般的说法是：你布施得越多，获得的回报也越多，正如俗话所说的“有耕耘就有收获（种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆）”。这种说法本身并没有错，但我认为，有关这个奇妙法则的误解可被该法则的一个简单推论所清除；这个简单的推论就是：关键不在于你做了什么，而在于你为什么去做。你的意图和动机才是最重要的。

这意味着你应该以“布施的快乐”为你布施的动机。反过来说，如果你期待着“获得”，你就破坏了布施的动机——宇宙可不是那么容易被欺骗的。

以期待“获得”的心理去布施，这本身就是“贫乏”的表现，它向宇宙发出这样的信息：“我需要‘获得’，因为我拥有的太少”。你的这个信念会很快得到确认——贫乏的能量震动只会吸引更多的“贫乏”。

这才是真正的“种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆”。

我知道有不少人在布施的时候很不情愿，或在奉献了自己的时间或金钱后感到贫乏。如果你是出于不得已的“义务”而布施，或者将布施看成一种“牺牲”，你深层的感觉其实就是“贫乏”。以“慷慨”的面具装扮贫乏的感觉，最终只能导致失望 —— 因为，在因果关系中，“果”的关键在于你做事的动机（“因”）。

不要将布施看成一种可以获得回报的投资，那只会浪费你的时间——上帝不是一只你可以在纳斯达克股市上进行交易的股票（代码为GODD，呵呵）。“如果我布施，我最好能得到回报或什么的”——这种想法根源于“我很贫乏/贫穷”。

作者评议：对于一个刚刚接触布施理念的“初学者”来说，将“布施”作为一种“投资”也是可以的，毕竟，这可以给他以布施的动力。但是，一定要以愉悦、美好的心去布施。

有些人怀着隐晦的动机去布施，而另外还有些人则根本不去布施；他们是这样想的：“我布施不起”。Henry Ford 经常说，有这样两种人 —— 一种认为他们能行，另一种认为自己不行；他们都是正确的。你的信念每时每刻都在创造着你的现实世界。

上面说的都是关于布施的“不要”的部分；那“应该”怎么做呢？

以我个人的经验，我建议：等待和生活合拍的时候。我们都有情绪的波动，有时候我们会感觉良好，有时候又会心情很糟。当你感觉很好的时候，抓住这个机会，分享那本来就属于你的富足——布施。

要常怀感恩之心，感激你眼前的一切，这样你就会更易于和别人分享你目前的好运。这时你就会体会到，“美好”里面还会有更好的来到。

我第一次真正的布施的经理（起码在我记忆中如此）发生在几年前我癌症复发的时候。当我从最初得知诊断结果的震惊中恢复后，我的心灵开始觉醒，并开始清点我所已有的福祉。

经过几个月的化疗后，我得以在圣诞节去纽约游玩，因为我的医生认为，给我一个小小的假期，让我从化疗中解放出来几个星期，轻松的玩玩，对我更有好处。纽约城的圣诞灯光、冬天清新的冷风、以及我现在还活着这个事实，都让我情绪很好。我感到充足和感激。

在一次和妻子、兄弟一起去晚餐的路上，餐馆外的一个流浪汉向我祈求能否给他一个美元。我当时的情绪很好，因此我给了他20美元。这个举动让我感觉 很好；让我感觉更好的是：我使他的今天成为好运的一天。对我来说，一个重要的细节是：我是在等候我的妻子和兄弟进餐馆的时候给他钱的；我不想让任何人知道这件事，也不想给任何人机会来质疑我的行为（毕竟我的收入有限，而且还是在重病治疗当中）。如果我还需要向任何人解释或辩解，我就会丧失布施的喜悦和乐趣。

虽然在当时，我不知道未来将会是怎样，但那一时刻对我来说简直就是完美的。我感觉很好，不想让任何人破坏这个感觉——如果有人来和我理论我的行为是否明智，我的情绪就会完全的被破坏了。看来，等待一个没有人看见的机会去布施，是布施最好的方式。

这时一个双赢的形势。那位流浪汉感觉很好，这种情绪至少会持续到晚上。这是我的秘密。我感到富足，并使那位流浪汉也感到富足，因为他得到了20倍于他的所求。几乎是偶然的，在那一刻我和生命的潮流合拍了，那是一个布施的绝妙机会。

过了几个月，我原本以为不可能有变化的疾患补偿金莫名其妙地增加了20%。我不知道这是怎么回事，也没有问。

我那时还不 懂什么“布施/回报”法则；我只是跟着自己的感觉冲动走而已。后来当我开始学习精神领域的有关知识的时候，我才了解到这个原则。结合我新学到的道理，我认真地反思了这件事情，才看到其中的隐含的微妙因果联系。

对我来说，这个原则最重要的、而且反复被证明如此的一点就是：布施的动因比布施的行为本身起着更为关键作用。如果某天你的运气不好，或者情绪很差，就不要选择这样的日子去布施。上帝那里没有额外的财富点数，在这种情况下对你或别人都不会有太多的益处。

译者附记：我对此有一些补充的看法，请看本章最后的 感想。

相反的，应该等一等，等到你感觉阳光灿烂的那些日子，选择你心情愉快的时机，让自己进入状态，愉悦的布施，然后静心观察那美妙的结果以万古不易的规律向你走来。而如果你还在费心算计你的钱数，还要思前顾后的考虑别人的看法，那就干脆别布施了，因为布施的美感已经被你弄丢了。

要等待你重新置身于宇宙富足繁荣的大潮中时候，并根据你最初的那一瞬间的灵性冲动决定你布施的钱数；决不能因为布施而感觉自己的钱包或银行账号中少了那么点钱——不要有“贫穷”的意识。

这个宇宙规律理解起来并不困难，但想真正掌握可能需要毕生的时间。从现在起你就可以不断的实践，并在这样的实践中获得乐趣。去作吧，你自己的经验就是最好的裁判。

译者感想：作为一个技巧，作者的这个忠告是很有用的，因为当你情绪不好的时候，带着一个坏心情去布施，确实 不是一件很完美的事情。但是，如果你能够从一个更高的立场去看问题，知道自己目前所有的不完美正是因为自己过往行为过失导致的，而弥补这些过失的最好方法之一就是布施，那你反而能获得愉快布施的动力，从而将这些“不好”的日子变成“最好”的日子，那么在这些日子里去布施，对自己和他人的利益，会更为巨大和显著呢！

John Zappa 是德州Austin市的公关顾问。他曾经在大名鼎鼎的Coporate America(美利坚公司)工作，但他现在选择要自己创造自己的工作。