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Does Free Have Value?
There's a theory in marketing that people don't appreciate what they get for free. Is that true? While it is true that the word "Free" is probably the most powerful and persuasive word someone can use in their marketing, it may also be true that anything someone receives for free is usually treated with disregard or disrespect. This has been proven over and over again. Consultants who give their time and services away often find the people who received their gifts don't appreciate them. In general, only when someone pays for something do they pay attention to it. But is that true in the art of giving money? First, I don't think so. Second, it doesn't matter. Let's look at both statements. First, I don't think people look down on gifts of money because money is such a highly charged symbol in our world. People scramble, fight, work, worry and die for money. They know its value. When most people receive it, they welcome it. Some people will grumble about the money not being enough, but that's their belief in lack and limitation. In general, give money and people will know you gave them something of real value. Second, I don't think it matters what they think about the money or what they do with it. You're giving the money to activate your own heart. My friend Bob Proctor, author of the book You Were Born Rich, once told me, "I don't care what they do with the money. They can take it out and burn it for all I care. I'm giving it for me." And that's the point. While you want your gift to be received and appreciated, what you're really doing when you give it is awakening your own spirit and activating a spiritual law. I remember giving a friend of mine a treasured copy of the now-legendary book, The Robert Collier Letter Book. The book is extremely rare, highly valued, and worth a lot of money. My friend was at my house and said he had been looking for the book for years. I had an extra copy and just handed it to him. His eyes popped wide. He was stunned. He couldn't believe it, and he couldn't stop thanking me. That was also the last time I saw my friend. Did he not appreciate the gift? Maybe. Was it too much for him to receive as a gift? Maybe. Would I give it to him if I had to do it all over again? In a heartbeat. Giving that gift to him made me feel great. Here's another example. Some twenty-five years ago I was reading books and listening to tapes by Barry Neil Kaufman, founder of The Option Institute. I had little money at the time and found it hard to part with what I had. But I wanted to give something to show my support for Barry. So I sent him five dollars. It was a big deal for me, and I hoped it would somehow add to whatever others were sending to Barry. Then, in 1985, I went to The Option Institute and studied with Barry, or "Bears," as his friends call him. On the last night of my stay there, we had a public Gratitude Night. Everyone who had been to the Institute that week gathered in a room, sat in a circle and took turns saying what we had been thankful for. This lasted three hours. You can't imagine the energy in a room of thirty people thanking each other for three hours for all they had received. It was phenomenal. I still vividly recall that night. When Bears took a moment to speak, he singled me out. He acknowledged me for my letters to him, for my support --- and for the five dollars I had sent him many months earlier. I was stunned. While it had felt great to help Bears in a small way, I realized he had felt great to receive it. It was a beautiful win-win. Remember, how you feel as you give is the key. If the other person feels the joy, too --- as Bears did with my gift --- it's further reason to celebrate and feel happy. And if the other person says little and maybe even drops out of your life --- as my friend with the priceless book --- allow it. Again, how you feel as you give is the key. "Money-giving is a very good criterion of a person's mental health. Generous people are rarely mentally ill people." -- Dr. Karl A. Menninger
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“免费”值多少钱？
商场中有这样一个理论，人们不会欣赏那些可以“免费”而得到的东西。 真的是这样吗? 一方面，人们把“免费”一词当作市场营销中最有影响力和说服力的词来用；另一方面，人们也通常并不看重和珍惜那些免费得到的东西。 这种情形已经被一次又一次的证明了。咨询师们在抽出时间和精力进行免费服务的时候，经常发现，人们对他们奉献的礼物并不怎么欣赏。一般说来，人们只重视他们花钱买来的东西。 那么，在布施之道中，也是同样的情形吗? 第一：我并不这样认为。 第二：这也无关紧要。 我们来详细讨论一下这两个论断。 首先，我认为人们不会不在乎金钱这种礼物，因为金钱在这个世界上是极有吸引力的东西。人们为此而争抢、奋斗、工作、担心，甚至会为此而死。人们都知道金钱的价值，大多数人收到金钱的时候，都会很高兴。当然也有一些人可能会抱怨钱太少，但这是他们贫乏和受约束的信念所致。一般说来，你布施金钱，人们会认可你布施出的是很有价值的东西。 第二，我认为别人怎么看待金钱，或者用这些钱干些什么，对我来说都是无关紧要的。你布施金钱是为了激活自己的心灵。 我的一位朋友 Bob Proctor，《你生来富足》的作者，曾对我说过，“我不在乎别人怎么花这些钱；他们甚至可以把这钱拿出去烧掉，我都不在乎。我是为我自己而布施。” 这句话说到点子上了。虽然你希望你布施的礼物被人接受和欣赏，但你布施的真正目的，是在于唤醒你的灵魂，激活那个神性定律。 我记得我曾送给一位朋友我珍藏的一个善本，《 Robert Collier 书信录》。这本书很稀有、很珍贵，也很值钱。 当时那位朋友在我家，说他找这本书已经好几年了。我有正巧有多余的拷贝，就顺手送给了他。当时，他睁着大大的眼，很吃惊，甚至不相信，还不停的谢我。 那也是我最后一次见到他。 难道他不欣赏我的礼物吗？ 可能。 是不是那本书对他来说太贵重，以至于他没有把它当作礼物？ 也许。 如果能再来一次，我还会送他那本书吗？ 会的，且不带一点犹豫。 送他礼物让我感觉好极了。 下面是另一个例子。 大约是25年前，我当时正在读“抉择学院”创始人 Barry Neil Kaufman 的书和他的磁带。那个时候我很穷，很难拿出钱来。但是我想送他一些东西来表示我对他的支持，因此我给他寄了５美元。对我来说这是一件很大的事情，我也希望我的钱多多少少能和别人的赞助一起共同支持 Barry。 1985年，我去抉择学院跟随 Barry （他的朋友叫他 "Bears"）学习。在那里的最后一晚上，我们举办了一个感恩晚会，所有在那个星期参加学习的人都聚集在一个房间里，坐成一个圈，轮流作感恩发言。这个晚会持续了3个小时。 你可能难以想象，30个人聚在一个房间里，连续3个小时为自己的所获彼此感谢，这种事件所产生的能量。真的是太感人了，直到现在我还能清楚地记起那晚的情景。 当轮到 Bears 发言时，他点了我的名。他感谢我给他的信、感谢我的支持，感谢我数月前寄给他的5美元。 我震惊了。 我的小小的帮助不仅让我自己感觉极好，我也认识到，他在接受我的礼物的时候也感觉极好 —— 这真是一个美丽的“双赢”。 记住，你在布施的时候的感觉，才是关键。 如果接受布施的人为此而感到快乐 —— 就像收到我的礼物的 Bears 那样 —— 你当然有理由庆贺和感到高兴。但如果有人什么也不说，或干脆从你的生活中消失了 —— 就像接受了我的那本珍贵藏书的朋友一样 —— 你也要允许这样的事情。再次强调：你布施时的感觉才是最重要的。 “金钱布施是判断一个人精神健康状态的一个很好的标准，慷慨大方的人很少有心理不健全的。” -- Dr. Karl A. Menninger
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